Yessssss, not at all usual here. Look at the time! O.o Well, i purposely set the alarm to 4:30am, so that i could wake up & technically print storyboard templates. -_____- Sick sad life, as it sounds! Come to think of it, where did my 'i do not wanna procrastinate anymore' go? I failed it? I have got to be kidding, what was i thinking. I know that last minutes sucks big time. It sure does. (shake head)
& also, i have been rather dissatisfied with my man. He's in the NS & its just... You know how NS its like. You must be nuts to expect something to happen, when he's needed out there to shoot nothing but air! -____- I always told him i was expecting too much, but he always kept turning me down about that. Seriously man, get rid of this annoyance, brushed off my shoulders quick! Can't believe i'm thinking of him all the timeeeee.
I actually don't believe i'm his girlfriend! " Is it too late to be amazed? " Hahahaha.. Its cute to think of it. =) Oh, & never have i seen him in uniform! Recently, he deliberately shave his heads off like during Basic Military Period, thats so sweeeeetttt! He was like, " B, You know ah. This morning when i enter the camp, everyone laughed at me. " or the night before he went to book in to camp, he went " I look like a joker, mannnnn! " Hehe.. Most of the times, i was happy, at times i was annoyed about that joker. (Kidding about the joker part. He's cute.) Lemme try this.
Lets just.. Don't think of him. Girlfriends with NS boyfriends, thinking less of them makes a big difference to your mood & day. Especially to how you're gonna face him, that you won't irritate him with your petty-ness. I'm gonna try this. Gosh my heart aches. I miss him. =/ I wondeeeeeerrr.
They confirmed that performance is this thursday. Status check, Nadzirah hasn't been going dance for the whole of last week. *shake heads* When i wanted to drown in school, i guess balancing is still the best, really. But i need help. Guide me.
I LOVE JAMIE VG! She's gonna blog soon! You're gonna love her. XOXO!
Trauma, Trauma, Trauma. Exactly why i can't be a good girlfriend like i used to, anymore? I'm afraid, i'm not that loving person. Thats freaking saddening! =((((((( Damn you, nadz! Damn youuuuu.
=(((((
Poor insan, you're the only man i love. After so long, & only the beginning, i've been giving you shits! Leave me alone, just leave me alone.
I only felt awesome the past few days, i'm down there againnnn. The difference between you & me is, i don't squat down or looks down if i'm sad. I do zillion things in an hour if i'm feeling down. The problem with me is, i don't really speak up. I shoot people all over, innocently, my bestfriend especially. What bestfriend has to be like, she never utter a word back. She eats my sorrows!
You know, i never really loved someone so much, that its really hard to let go. Honestly, or sadly, its my first time. Oh hohhhh, how does it feel like? Make me learn, i haven't had any. Now i feel a tinge of it, its freaking me out, a little. This is weirddddd, coming from me.
I need a breather. A friend. Or.. Nobody. Blerghhh~ What am i saying. -______-
Darlinggggg, if my bestfriend Jamie is too busy for me, i'm counting on you. Alot. But if you're busy too?
__________________________________(fill in the blank, sweetie.)
My initial purpose to blog was to upload all classic & frustrating conversations from MSN & Facebook buttttt... I'm too occupied with assignments. Date lines are sleeping in my peanut brain, those numbers are confusing to me already. HAHAHAHAHA.. So so, this entry is to show you, this disgusting video a friend sent to me. Thousands of expressions on my face while watching. You gotta see this. Sidetrack : The woman hangs her clothes, outside in the garden with alot of worms (???). She wore those clothes & get this.
Infested breassssssst.
This is why they say i derserve to be in this crazy media school. Wish i get paid for this, this one thing that people thirst for ; this freaking knowledge of mine.
In case they don't know, i'm trying very hard to (L) my job in this media land. Now that i've come to realise that being absent from school really kills because assignments hide behind your conscious. Its scary, its painful.
Scold me for not taking care of myself, but i'm determined to do at least good. These people in media is sickkkk, they behave & work like a maniac. I'm not even close to being a maniac. Watch me work, pardon me if it scares you.
There really is, only a fine line between being nice to everyone & being mean on purpose, also means being sly, always having something up one's sleeves all the time. A fine line between being nice & having two faces! & If being nice actually makes others feel dippreciated, one logical advice.
Learn to balance & feel others from different different angles. OR not, the mean way, disregard the ones that your loved ones don't feel happy about.
Honestly, i think the second advice works better. I'd loved that, quite much. Thats why they call me the 'sombong' one but if you ask me, i really don't mean it. I just had to do it, or i missed you out, somehow. Because you see, if i'm being nice, you'll see that i'm reaaaally nice. All the nice things you can think of, i've done most of that. Out of the many, IT IS because of the many that my loved ones felt that it was dumb of me.
I'm handling this alone, so preaching on me about my decisions, just makes me dislike you. Much. Help, or ignore. =) Nevertheless, these are still the people that i need. Just these few that i'd cry to lose one of them.
: Jamie Victoria Guna. : Muhammad Insan. : Bukhari Abdul Jalil. : Liqi, Lilin, Lok, Shaun, Vinod, Tian. : Joy Rouge & Vishalini.
Thus, too nice is awesome! Too nice is also risky & sort of a suicide, in some ways too. So how?
So, this very midnight is a very important because...
Its Jamie's birthday! *party poppers popping!*
& she has a barbeque today at 5pm but i would most probably stay at home because i'm still kinda unwell. =( I have always missed alotttt of meetings with her & i'm telling you, its been quite some time back since i last met her. (Tskkk!) Nevertheless, she's very unstandable & urge me, not to be stressed or be guilty about any of these. I couldn't be less guilty still, because i see how much she wants me to be there, but i'm not there. She once told me this. "If you need me urgently or you cry in school, & i'm having a test, i would leave my test & meet you. " =))))))
Every single time without fail, she'll find out whether i've eaten for the day, or even more tedious, for this period of time under a meal, be it breakfast, lunch or dinner. I couldn't escape from the moment because she WILL buy some food for me & force it down my throat. Yea, i'm hard to please but this lady here, she couldn't care less about any of my parliament speech but force something down my throat.
You may feel that, this is the girl who only look at you, & then look away. OR the girl who do not smile at you, but look at you as though you're a piece of nuisance. Wellllll.. Thats just her face, can't you accept it? Hahahaha.. She's none of all that. You should have better listen to what she has to say, instead of assuming from her body language or her facial expression because seriously, it don't tell any truth.
The very firstttttt time i mingle with her, was during dance. I wasn't suppose to meet up with her & go for dance together, but we met at Bukit Batok Interchange by chance. She was worried much because she's late for dance & that is like after her work replacement for her mum's friend as a salesgirl if i remember correctly? She scratched me on my arms with her exceptionally long nails, whereby her intention was actually, to save me from the car that is driving in, into the carpark. Hahaha.. Yessss, i went " Weeeeiiii.. Pain lehhhhh! " She just laughed because she say i was too cute to be scratched on a purpose.
If you were to ask me how we became bestfriends, it was actually by pure coincidence. Like really, we just happen to want to do the same thing every single time. I wanted to rebond my hair before school starts, she wants it too! I wanted biker jacket, she wants it too! She said that i was copying her, but no! I wanted it too, even without knowing she wanting them too!
❤
Lovely, we started going to dance together, we shared chips together while figuring out the contemporary steps that was taught. You wanna know one funny truth at that time? She's rough, really. Hahahahah.. I couldn't stand it. HER FINGERNAILS, DAMN IT! Sharp like pen knife which eventually, scratched against me over & over again while dancing! Freaking irritating i just had to screech! As usual, she laughed. (shrugs)
Performances by performances, we started to get closer, more comfortable with each other & thats the time when i see her retardedness bit by bit, knowing that she isn't that bitchy or bimbotic or snotty. She's funny & caring & nice that she don't just anyhow do that to anyone. It takes time, you see. Fast forwarding, now that she's my bestfriend, we in fact do everything anything together. After O'Levels, we skated like 3 times in a week! We went out to do nothing else but just skating. Oh, & going to dance practices.
Sweetttttt, how time flies that she has a boyfriend now! We as one, are sorta identical in most ways but not looks, of course. That would be freaky. Hahaha! We always tell each other, " When a guy ignore us for one day, he's a jerk because that is soooo over! (Laughs) NEXXXXTTTT! " =DDDDD You think of it, its actually cute, yet mean, of us. That is supposedly a big mistake because we're still the one involved in this tension, not just those guys who got ignored & felt sad. Like Jamie's phone, it rangs every 3 mins! Mind you, its not 1 person of all day. *eyebrow goes up & down* Hahaha..
There's alot of things that i could share with you about this beautiful lady, but...
I just hope that this is touching & sweet enough that she could forgive me for not coming to her barbeque tonight.
I ❤ you, J!
Sweet seventeen (like OMGGGG 17?!), & remember what i always tell you?
" Anytime, anything, anywhere. "
XOXO, N!
Remember that i once told you that we moved on faster than how the crowd moves, how we just follow what our hearts craves for, that knowing each other about the details in black & white can wait? Every night, we never fail to pour our feelings out into actions, how we feel its hard to say goodbye to end the sweet night.
People may feel we really moved too fast, but we do not really care so much because we loved, we shared, we cared, we're happy. We do not have to slow down & take things step by step, do we. I've never had such a fast pace with anyone before, but you. I never felt so confident in someone, before. Perhaps its because you are truthful about everything, & it shows where i see it.
I love you. & you told me you're definitely different from the crowd, that is some confidence. You always say i'm always playing hard to get. Ain't that some challenging game we played, darling? (L) I never give in to guys, even you right now, but it is because...
I'm still deciding whether i'm gonna go Shanghai or not. Well, its different, definitely to have your boyfriend for so long before, & that now you're leaving then he's leaving, i guess i can still handle that. My situation is, this soldier here only meets me during weekends! " Definitely not the same feeling as yours, Liqi. Similar perhaps, similar. " I need to weigh out options, & i need all the help you can give me.
So anyway, i'm still on MC since yesterday till today. Oh i've been having sharp pains on my brain, some chest tightness & also, sighness at night. That is someeeee pain, you know. Not having to attend school for this long, i still have not write an essay for my Critical Thinking Module. I'm gonna get it over & done with, soon! (tsssk!)
& i have a new plan on how to handle my assignments, or rather, school, they call it. -______- *eyebrow goes up & down* I wanna do well now, when currently, i think we're just a bunch of procrastinators who follow the breeze. I've changed & lets see if it works.
Well, i'm off! P.S : Jamie's birthday is in 3 days timeeeee!
So, DDM is gonna have a photography trip to China during autumn. My mum allows me to go, but my man wouldn't allow me to, because he'll be lonely. You see, if i were to go for that China trip, i'll get more beautiful photos in my gallery, especially when it is an autumn! On my return, my man is gonna leave for India. Leaving one for another one. -______-
Thus, if i did not go for China Photography trip, i'll have more time with him, before he leaves me in early October. Tough huhhhh~ I have no idea maaaaan.
Anywayyyy, ever wonder if the models in thos magazines really own a flawless skin? Pleaseee, now that i'm smarter, i'm more than sure that their faces have been CLOSELY retouched by photoshop. (Tsk tsk tsk!) I'm telling you, the editor must be a very passionate & patient person because retouching takes forever! Especially you have spotty face! HAHAHAHA. =P So, you may say that you ever see models which seems close to flawless! Well, it just makes the editor's work wayyyyyy relaxing than supposed. Modeeeeelssss~ Like my bestfriend. (L)
Well, i'm off! I'm gonna drown myself much, into dance now as performance is cominggggg~ * simultaneously, assignments are getting itself done one by one gradually. God bless me.
Well, yessss. Its true like what my man said over the tagboard, i'm sucha perfectionist when it comes to looks of something like for instant, my blogskin. Ask me, how madly i was browsing thru the blogskins.com just to find something easy & nice, to the extend that everything else there is kind of mainstream, i went to make my own. But currently, there's something wrong with my codings. Bummer, how dissappointing. -__-
So, i didn't really attend morning lessons today because i doubt i could pass the entrance check at Gate 7 of SP because of my darn flu. :( Supposedly its a pity, but my bloody classmates (as usual, inevitable.) posted on my FB wall, phrases like, " FAKE ONE LA CBCBCBCBCB. " No comments, isn't it? You just have to cb back at them. Hahah! =P Pardon me. Gonna get in school by another open gate, so that i could attend afternoon lessons at 2 to 4pm ; IDEAS Class. Is there health check at the entrance from MRT? :O
So anyway, Mr Lance Corporal is gonna book out today, & he's gonna treat me to a movie out of the blue! =D Supposedly, i'd rather be more committed to dance right now because finalised date of dance night is next thurs, the 23rd! (Phewwww~) Fast tutting routine really made me go bonkers. Its funny how i did not suggest for other things but get on with tutting practices. Hahah.. Like what Shyry says, " Thats the spirit i'm looking for! HAHAHAHAHA. " while one other just kept " Puki ah sai. Slowly ahhh~ " Funnay funnay.
Nonetheless, we all know that disciplines beats it all, i hope. On the other hand, My man is back in the jungle this morning for 2 days 1 night. Had a phone call with him early morning like 7plus AM as i was up very early like 4:30am to find materials for a particular written essay today in class, before i realise that i am unwell~ Good thing is, i've got more time! Bad thing is, what if i fail to enter the health check entrance tomorrow? :O Please, don't. Howeverrrr, his phone call made my day. (L) & poor guy, his morning sighness made him sound so cute over the phone. (giggles) =))))
XOXO, N!
P.S: I'm still unhappy with this blogskin okay? :(
I wanted to be in Singapore Polytechnics's media school so much, that i worked my ass off during the O'Levels period, i can't let loose of my determined dream. I'm currently really sleepy, actually where today, i went out with my man & he showers me with alotttt of pampers! *melts*
I have to draw 10 sketches of out a product, NEC projector. Looking at the previous years' art pieces, i wonder how they could even imagine of cloning projectors & changing its colours to create a silly parrot with blurred green background. :O
Fascinating, isn't it? I wonder if my ideas are of a certain standard, but you bet i have been thinking of these sketches for the whole day. Its no regrets that i'm in media school, because i'd jolly well know at first, that my course don't allow one to sleep. You're only allowed to dream, imagine & do things to make beliefs~ -_________-" Thats what media is all about. With only 5 sketches in my file & taking a glance at the clock (currently its 2:37am, monday morning), will i get my sleeeeeeep? I doubt so. :(
To remind myself, i have to write an essay on tuesday during Critical Thinking Lesson. :( Freakingggg annoying & everything is so rushing or did i kick off late. No?
Anywayyyyyy, i'm working on my new blogskin, which for your information, Dreamweaver is a bitch at handling codes. I killed much brain cells for that entertainment. It'll work out good, you'll see. But for now, stick with this 'already boring' blogskin & be amused with anything.
No one promised me that life would be a bed of roses all the time, but i have people promising me that anything incomplete would be just part of the work in progress. How can i thank them enough.
Today, i only (L) Muhammad Insan the soldier guy, Jamie Victoria Guna the bimbo bestfriend, Bukhari the Lance Corporal, Liqi Lilin Shaun Vinod Tian & Lok the class losers, Mafia Crew & Killa Move Crew the dancers & bboys, DyliMarcell the happy pill dancers, Sports Club the lepak corner, & lastly, Joy Rouge & Vishalini the performers.
I have too many things to face in life, right now. Too many sweethearts who constantly want me to smile, at least. Too many care & concern that i've been getting, could i have been more blessed, or basically just this time alone, things will stay perfect.
I miss my bestfriend, & i'm hoping she's been good these days because if ever she felt a tinge of loneliness, there goes my title. =/ I have been busy with dance practices, & like finally over with web publishing which took its toll on me. I'm extremely glad i made new friends everyday! For whatever reasons it hold, i bet its blissful, still. I haven't been eaten proper meals & like what my man said, " You're eating lesser than what baby is eating, you know! " or what bestfriend said, " Since when is your appetite so small? "
I'm trying my best to be perfect. & thats the only way i can love myself more. Tell me if i'm wrong to try. Because if i hadn't try, i never felt so useless before.
" & they knock you down, just keep back up, when they knock you down. "
There's a few things i haven't managed to get over with. & probably your help might be greatly appreciated.
Firstly, i've finally chose to belong to Mr NS Man because i can't forever be dating a thousand guys monthly, that just makes me a bitch. Or perhaps not, because that can be fun, i admit but come to think of it, thats what i think. What about the guy's?
Who knows. (shrugs) So, i've stop playing games. My all-time hero, charming Bukhari, use to tell me this.. (Because he also dates alot like me. But things are more complicated for him, but nevermind that.)
" You know i want you to do. It to just date. Date alottttt, different guys all the time, so that you can see & learn the different characters. & finally chose what you want. You won't get true love when you're not working as a status. Till then, its just another relationship for instant. "
Now, what do you think about that? Is he making sense?
He alwayssssss do make sense, but the thing is, he do things we people don't do, because he's a crazy nurse. Yesterday, he called me to say, " Nad. Sorry. Semalam i takde kerje in camp, me & my bunk mates drank 10 scoops of cough syrup with root beer. Syioooooooooooook, babeeeee. "
How sick is that?!
Okayyyy, so yesterday, its a big unlucky day for me.
The day all DDM students rushes thru their assignment like for me, my web publishing. I'd thought i could get it over & done with, yesterday? But damn my fucked up stepdad who switches off the modem & there goes my assignment,
& also there goes my tears, sleeping with deep worries but now that i'm up fresh, i'm gonna rush.
I didn't plan to go classes today, i'll come to school, only to submit this shit.
I know very well that i haven't been working hard enough & all i do is just.. Open my mouth & whineeeee~
Freaking freaky noisy that some of you might not wanna admit that it is annoying, i'm sorry. =)
Yesssss, i do not know what to say here or update here, but you all should know, i'm really busy with assignments. Not at all tiny ones.
I really can't wait to get over with this, & all i wanted was someone to always help me, keep my head up at all times. I know, i may seem like i'm a pampered person, but i'm not, at all. I search for my own comfort zone, i don't always get it just like that.
I'm not asking much, am i?
I'm more than blessed to have my darling NS man standing by my side, all the time, when i know he has more important things to do, than i what i know he could have been doing.
He is still there for me, & you know, even i will get irritated with someone who always want my attention all the time like twenty four seven? But not him.
He's never irritated by me, i believe its not because he doesn't wanna admit it. Even if he was the one logically suppose to be sad by the both of us, & i chose to be sad too, he'll not be sad & attend to me.
I'm extremely pampered by him & i couldn't love him less, for that. (L)
Do you guys get such treatment in life, before?
This is one of a kind for me, doubt any of you gets it or at least the same treatment for a long long time. Humans will get tired of giving in, now thats what you call 'life' isn't it? I understand those shits all along, but this soldier really changed it all, when i know its more of him, persevering, he just don't get tired because " Darling, i believe you know that i care for you as much, too. "
=)))))
& you know what, today, is a sunday, i'm heading to school. -____________-
" Hello everybody, i'm the next best photo editor in Singaporeeee! " (HAHAHAHA. -___________-. Pleaseeeee. )
Alot have been asking me what my course is about, generally. Well, you must be interested in whatever that i'm doing & all of the things that i have produced, isn't it? *eyebrow goes up & down* What more to know that, i've come into the course of my choiceeeee~ (L) Anywayyyy, i can assure that different polytechnics do not study everything equally the same. Similar, really. But i'm from Singapore Polytechnicssssss~ *hinting*
Fineeeee, not interested about where i'm from, heh? Boo you!
So, Diploma In Digital Media is generally about camerasssss (both filming & photography), 3D animation & web publishing. Oh, there's actually some 'music lesson' because you see, all your videos have got music background. In the industry, they don't just take any songs from other producers & put it into their videos/shows. Thereforeeee, music lesson teaches you how to make your own. OR on the basic, you will be taught how to edit music.
Thats about it, that as you go a year ahead, you'll finally have got to choose one of the many things you do in DDM. Coooooolllllllllzxzxzxzxz heh? =D I know righttttttt, now bye!
Oh, before that, here's something for you to plug in into. =)
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